Just like there was a code of silence in Hollywood regarding Harvey Weinstein’s sexual abuse and harassment, there is a code of silence in the left-wing media such as The Guardian when it comes to left wing activists and politicians who abuse and harass women. Just like there is a code of silence within the Catholic Priesthood when it comes to child rape, there is a code of silence in the rock n roll world when it comes to legendary rock stars who abuse women, even under-age girls. This is our world.
Rock n Roll is essentially misogynistic in nature, its essence imbued in machismo, a celebration and a ‘natural’ extension of masculinity, which includes a myriad of sexual activity, drug and alcohol abuse as the principle of rock n roll. In this arena, women have a secondary role, are inferior to the rock star and their role is one of subservience. Men are idolized for their sexuality; women are demonized for it.
This model of what constitutes rock n roll has not ever evolved, grown or shifted in its extremity of misogyny. Without the debauchery and wild and crazy behaviour and the gender roles played within that, it is not rock n roll. Jimmy Page’s sexual activities with 13 year old groupies has become normalised as legendary rock n roll behaviour, Motley Crue’s abuse of women as confessed graphically in their memoir The Dirt is the bible of rock star behaviour, as has Marilyn Manson’s self-confessed abuse of women which has been translated as what a ‘God of Fuck’ would do. Because rock stars are elevated superficially by fame, not by how good a human being they are, so humanity’s ethics and morals don’t apply to them. Women are the worst enablers of this. They normalise that kind of behaviour when they are around rock stars, because either they are star-struck and feel a sort of sense of duty to comply but also it has been conditioned in society that famous men whether in film, music or other milieu, are superior somehow.
What I was astonished by was the backwardness of this world. Rock stars have written graphic depictions of their sexuality with an endless stream of partners, some just downright abusive, as in the case of Motley Crue, who put telephones up girls’ vaginas, made girls squat over wine bottles over long period of time, put their dicks in burritos to hide the smell of pussy, similarly with Manson who wrote about his own infliction of abusive behaviour towards women in his book, and Tommy Lee and so on, but if a woman did, such as me, it was unacceptable, purely because I am female. This is the backward 1950s mentality of rock stars. Women must not have a voice, or be sexual or talk about their sexual partners, whilst they have every god given right to.
When I wrote my first book The Last Living Slut: Born in Iran, Bred Backstage(HarperCollins) my main objective was to break gender, racial and social taboos of my life in Iran during the revolution and war and adult life in the very misogynistic world of rock n roll. The raw and graphic descriptions of my childhood sexual abuse in Iran, suffering repeated domestic violence and racial abuse as a teen, sexual relationships with rock stars as an adult and abortions, emotional abuse and self identity were unpalatable for many. Female sexuality simply was not meant to be depicted as so unvarnished, un-glossy,… so raw, so working class. It was meant to be bound in material goods a’la Sex and the City, or in luxury fairy-tale settings, four-poster beds, and wealthy men of noble descent a’la Anais Nin. It was uncomfortable reading but unvarnished, human. If Henry Miller and Bukowski could write as a working class man with real raw human bodily functions where sexuality wasn’t bound in material goods, then why couldn’t I, as a female human?
I was always aware that the world of rock n roll was not the most feminist playground to play in, especially having dalliances with members of Guns n Roses, Motley Crue, and other ‘80s ‘hair metal’ bands wasn’t exactly going to be having relationships, friendships and sexual dalliances with intellectual academic feminists. But I decided to not stereotype human beings for the reason that I have met left-wing so-called feminist intellectual activists, politicians, writers, poets and academics that have sadly been the worst sexual abusers not just to me but to many other women. Famous ‘intellectual feminist’ politicians who have raped and abused women and because they are left-wing, there is a code of silence in left wing media such as The Guardian.
Russell Brand has written in detail about his sexual life and dalliances, Motley Crue have written in graphic detail about theirs. Slash, Tommy Lee, Marilyn Manson and many other rock stars have named names of the women involved in the graphic description of their sexual exploits. So when I got involved with one of the men named above, I was astonished that despite our intellectual, emotional and sexual close-ness, despite his adoration of me, his respect for my charity work, my academic work and lectures, my kind heart, he wanted to keep me a secret from the world, not because I was a bad person but because as he said: “You have written a book about sex and named names.” When I responded that so had he, he came back with the 1950s mentality of: “ Well mine was within relationships; yours was one-night stands” (he obviously has not read my book). I realised then that not only women are demonised for their sexuality and men idolised and lionised for theirs, even in 2017, there is a disturbing given ‘natural’ mentality in the rock n roll world that mirrors my life in the oppressiveness of the Islamic Fundamentalism of Iran. In the rock n roll world, women are inferior to men, whether they are female rock stars or the girlfriend or wife of a male rock star. I know of many legendary rock stars who have sex with underage girls and are idolised for it. I know legendary rock stars who verbally and physically abuse and assault women and are immune from any repercussions because of their fame and power. The rock star I was with, was kind and down to earth and most definitely different from your normal ‘80s cliché knucklehead rock star, but he had been ‘hardwired’ to regard females as having a ‘naturally’ different right and place to a male in the rock n roll world. He had been hardwired to think that fame elevates male rock stars to a higher superior place with different rights and privileges.
In the light of the Weinstein saga, I am proud that I wrote a book that told the world about the abuse I suffered with certain rock stars, when there is such a code of silence when it comes to beautiful, famous, talented men. Sadly a lot of women are the biggest misogynists in the world: they will happily talk about fat ugly slobs who abuse and harass them, but not young, good looking, sexy and talented rock stars, as if these should be left immune from their abusive behaviour to women, especially as they are rock stars.